I wasn't worried when the extra cash we kept around the apartment, our tax-free stash and his backup bankroll, disappeared due to losses at the poker table. It didn't alarm me when he would stay up all night playing poker online instead of giving me attention or holding me as I drifted to sleep. And somehow, incredibly, I didn't panic when I came home one night to find the power had been shut off. "Dammit... well... baby, I was just a little short this month, I should have paid that on Monday after I won that afternoon - tell you what, I'll pay it in the morning when I'm done here," he said to me on the phone from somebody's house somewhere, at yet another all-night game that he was likely to come home broke from. I used the light from my phone screen to guide me to the bathroom and over to the cabinets so I could get ready for bed, before falling asleep alone in even greater darkness than I was accustomed to. We shared a bank account, an idea that sounded great when he was winning. Seeing it as part and parcel of Sue’s desire to explore new sexual experiences. Being a natural consequence of Sue rejecting more and more of the conventional sexual and relationship rules that had been drummed into her as a girl. Just the latest stop on the road that had started when we’d both agreed to park the monogamy rule.Naturally enough the conversations moved from there to how we were both feeling about all the time she’d spent with Francis. Followed rapidly by Sue gently probing about how I felt about the whole Grace situation.Now that Sue was safely returned from her African lover’s lair, I felt a lot more relaxed and comfortable about things. Feeling Sue’s body next to mine and gazing into her loving face gave me the comfort and reassurance I needed. The balance I needed to make her time spent with Francis something that excited more than it hurt. Sue’s smile was a picture of warmth and love as she took in my words. Happy that she’d not done something to hurt me.I had a.
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